


i love you straightfowardly, without complexities or pride

by lavenderlotion



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Pre-X-Men: Days of Future Past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21735883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotion/pseuds/lavenderlotion
Summary: They were mere feet apart, and all Charles wanted was to get closer.
Relationships: Armando Muñoz/Alex Summers, Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Comments: 13
Kudos: 56
Collections: Secret Mutant Madness 2019





	i love you straightfowardly, without complexities or pride

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [Ireliss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ireliss/pseuds/Ireliss) in the [secret_mutant_madness_2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/secret_mutant_madness_2019) collection. 



> **Prompt:**  
>    
> Winter holidays in the mansion during the DoFP timeskip, can be shippy or platonic, go wild! Would love some angst but also some hope and softness.

Charles wheeled himself through the hall, admiring the decorations the children had put up during his time away. Each visit to Washington tired him more than the last. The efforts he was making were good, honest strides that would lead to a future where mutant-kind could coexist with their baseline ancestors. It was thankless work though, and he hated the way it took him from his duties at the school. There had been a very short time after Charles lost the use of his legs where he hadn't seen how any sort of future could be possible, but he had quickly smartened up.

There was too much work to do. Work he could not do if he was heavy with drink and walking rather than reading minds. There was a school to create and young lives to shape. He still regretted the months lost towards his goal spent drinking to numb the bitter loss of his legs and the sharper loss of the man he loved.

It had been Alex, of all people, who had snapped him out of his grief, reminding Charles of what he had promised the scared, young orphan Alex had truly been in that prison cell. He had stopped drinking and ceased use of the serum that gave him use of his legs, forcing himself, every day, to choose the future instead of the past.

Now that he had it back, his telepathy was a grand weapon in his arsenal and one he was much less hesitant to use as time went on. There was something about being fired upon by countless missiles that allowed Charles to be a bit freer with his mutation. If slipping into someone's mind could get him what he wanted...well, Charles found that he was rather okay with doing so.

Well, he was okay with doing so when it was for the greater good of mutant-kind. It was that one stipulation that kept him from lying awake at night and thinking himself a monster. Monsters were the ones who killed indiscriminately, fired at a beach full of young adults and one of their own all because of a perceived “common enemy”. He wasn't a monster for protecting a defenceless people—no matter what Erik thought, they would not survive a war, and Charles was doing everything within his power to prevent one.

As much as it sometimes pained him to think, he could now see the reasoning behind Erik's views and the way he acted. After all, Charles  _ had _ been in his mind. He knew what happened to him, as a boy, at the hands of men just following orders. When he thought about it, months after the fact and far, far too late to do anything to change the outcome of that horrible day, he knew that his words had only done harm. If anything, Charles was nearly certain that it was his words that pushed Erik over the edge, pushed him away.

_ Erik, _ Charles thought heavily, closing his eyes and taking a moment to rest his head against his fist, stopping in front of the large tree in the grand room that the children had decorated just the other evening. The other man would always be one of Charles' greatest regrets. He had been so very foolish during the course of their...well, if Charles was feeling particularly melodramatic, he would call what they had shared a relationship.

At the very least, that's what it had been to him. He had thought that Erik felt the same, and it had been that foolish naivety that allowed him to think his love would be able to save Erik from himself. The truth was, however, Erik didn't need to be saved and never had. Regrettably, Charles had only realized that once he was gone. 

Sighing heavily to himself, Charles pushed his mind to check on the inhabitants of the mansion, finding almost all of them asleep. Alex and Darwin were still up, and Charles allowed himself a moment of weakness as he let their surface thoughts rush over him. He gave himself to the count of ten to luxuriate in the love they felt for one another and found himself surprised, not for the first time, at how so very purely and wholly they cared for one another. 

At only the count of eight, he was pulled back to himself by the rumbling of an engine. Frowning, Charles cast his mind out only to feel a familiar nothingness. His entire body tensed even as he forced his arms to wheel him forward. Keeping a tight hold on his shields, Charles tried to relax knowing that Alex and Darwin were awake and would be able to reach him in mere minutes should he need them. 

With a deep breath, he pulled open the mansion’s front door and felt his heart stop within his chest. Breath caught in his throat, Charles watched as Erik, bathed in moonlight, stepped out of a rather slick looking car and turned towards Charles. The only thing keeping elation away was the helmet that he wore, now painted in a  _ very _ dramatic fashion and reminding Charles of the great, uncrossable distance between them. 

That didn’t mean he stopped staring, though. Erik had always been handsome, but he looked especially so now, dressed in a plum turtleneck that went with the colours of his helmet, and slacks that fit him impeccably. Charles couldn’t help but wonder if he was dressed up for a reason, but then he pushed that thought away, knowing it wouldn’t lead anywhere good. 

Neither of them said anything as Erik ascended the stairs. He stopped only a step onto the top-level. They were mere feet apart, and all Charles wanted was to get closer. He gripped the armrests of his chair and forced himself to remain still, knowing that nothing good could come from Erik being here but wanting to cross the distance between them. 

They watched one another silently, neither of them moving. Charles hardly dared to breathe lest that disturb the peace. The last time they had seen each other...well, it certainly hadn’t been good, watching Erik leave them stranded in Cuba, tearing Charles’ heart from out of his chest. There was a reason Charles had fallen so far into a bottle, after all. 

Just as Charles was trying to build up the strength to ask Erik what in heaven's name he thought he was doing  _ without  _ breaking into tears like a blubbering baby, Erik reached up and took off his helmet, dropping it carelessly to the side. 

_ Hello Charles, _ Erik said into his mind, and, lord help him, but it felt like coming home. Charles let out a shaky breath and did his best not to lose himself in the familiar depth of Erik’s mind, focusing on his shields even as it felt like Erik’s consciousness was reaching out to him and pulling him in. 

God, all he wanted to do was to dive forward.  _ My friend, _ Charles greeted, too breathless to even begin to utter a protest at how the wheels of his chair began to move on their own, drawing him closer to Erik. Erik, who was dropping to his knees against the cement step and reaching out with his arms. 

_ I am so sorry it took me so long to get back to you, _ Erik told him, and Charles shook his head as he said,  _ It only matters that you came back. _

Charles’ eyes were already burning when they finally reached. Erik’s hands against his face felt the same as they always had, and Charles tilted his head so he could feel familiar callouses catch against his skin. Charles reached up to catch his wrists between his fingers, rubbing his thumb against the point where he could feel his beating heart, racing alongside Charles’ own. 

Oh, Charles ached so very much. This felt like everything he had ever wanted, and part of it felt like it must be a dream. Perhaps he was upstairs sleeping with the rest of the house, dreaming of something he wanted so badly to happen that the reality of it was tearing apart his chest. 

_ It has been far too long, Charles, _ Erik said into his mind. He was still drawing him, pulling him closer, and with a slow breath, Charles gave himself over to it and allowed their minds to meld into one consciousness for several beats of their heart. It was euphoria. It was a feeling Charles never could have imagined, as nothing before had ever felt so very right. 

When he was back solely in his own mind and he could once again only hear Erik’s surface thoguhts, the tears that had gathered in Erik’s eyes had begun to spill over. Charles knew that he was no better, and as Erik thumbed away his cheeks as they fell, Charles reached out so he could do the same. 

_ You’ve grown a beard, _ Charles observed, feeling the rough hairs with the tips of his fingers. It was run through with fiery streaks, and Charles scratched his nails over it gently before he softly cupped Erik’s jaw.  _ You look incredibly handsome, my friend. _

_ Please, liebling, can you ever forgive me? _ Erik’s voice was completely gutted even in the soft space that their minds were sharing. Charles let out something between a laugh and a sob, and looked into Erik’s wet eyes with tears of his own falling down his face, knowing there was hardly anything which he wouldn’t forgive Erik for. 

_ You foolish man, _ Charles scolded, moving forward so their lips would brush as he said, “I already have.”

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are much appreciated!


End file.
